OPRAH WINFREYS
I opened up a River West Chicago neighborhood guide and there on the first page was a small rendering of Oprah Winfrey’s Harpo Studio. I realize that she’s famous and everything, but is where her studio is really that big a deal? It’s not a landmark or anything. When tourists come to Chicago, they want to walk the Magnificent Miles, stroll along Lake Michigan, see Millennium Park, climb to the top of the Sears Tower, meet Michael Jordan, and all that. But there are legions of people who seem to worship Oprah. Why? I know that it was a big deal when she cured cancer for everyone in the world. Or wait. She didn’t cure cancer, now did she? So why is anyone making a big deal over a talk show host? She has a book club. So what? I read books too and I like the ones I read better than the ones she recommends. How does anyone even know if she reads the books she makes into her books of the month anyway? No one’s giving her a test. It’s good that she gets people to read, true, but so does Harry Potter. I don’t remember the name of the author of his books so I’ll just pretend that Harry Potter himself wrote them.